I recently moved into a new place. It’s awesome. Has a little terrace right next to the pool for me to practice on, while my teacher is out of town. There’s even a Ganesha statue, just like at the shala I usually practice at here in Bali. I told one of my friends, that there was the same “elephant statue”, where I live now and she told me about the history and how Ganesha helps remove obstacles. I think about that during my practice in the mornings now, when I get stuck.
I’m sidetracking tough. So. As mentioned, I moved to a new place and have a new neighbor now. A lovely lady named Melody. The other day we talked about yoga. I told her, that I do Ashtanga and how I would practice at home for a few days in the upcoming weeks, while my teacher was out of town. She said, she’d never heard about Ashtanga, but was doing yoga on a regular basis. We had a great conversation! (Well. You know me… Whenever I get to talk about yoga, it feels like a great conversation! Lol) I invited her to join me sometime and she seemed excited, which I thought was awesome! Yoga friends FTW, right?!
The next day I ran into her again, just as I was leaving for work and I told her, how I’d just finished practice. She told, that she’d googled Ashtanga the night before after our conversation and had come across a blogpost by a woman, who wrote about how she had to “break up with Ashtanga”, as it was slowly taking over her life. Melody said, that such an intense practice probably wasn’t right for her. Funnily enough, I’d read that blogpost a while ago. It was written by a very dedicated and eventually very advanced Ashtangi. She speaks about her journey and how she felt, that after years of loving Ashtanga, it still wasn’t loving her back. It’s a quite thoughtful and insightful article, and I remember, thinking about how grateful I was for her honesty. At that very moment though, it also made me a little sad. When you google “Ashtanga Yoga”, her story is one of the first search results and I wonder how many other people besides my new neightbour Melody had been “scared off” by it and never even got started with Ashtanga.
When I started to practice in the Mysore room, all my teacher had me do on the first day was eight sun salutations A and eight sun salutations B. She made sure my form was correct and asked me to repeat that short sequence twice. And that was it. After that I closed my practice for the day with a hip opener, some breathing exercises and shavasana. Had my new neighbor joined me for yoga that day, this is what I would have recommended she do. She’d done yoga before, so I’m sure she would have been fine. Unfortunately one yogini’s experience high up in the Google search results worried her and I think that’s too bad.
She went on to ask me how long I’d been doing this and whether I could put my leg behind my head. I had to giggle a little and honestly answered, that I had no idea. I hadn’t tried in months as putting my leg behind my head simply wasn’t part of my practice. It actually made me wonder whether I could. Maybe I’ll try one of these days. But it mainly made me realize how little I thought about the physical aspects of the practice anymore. The challenge for me isn’t the asana, it’s the focus, the breath and the discipline, it takes to get out of bed in the early morning and show up on the mat.
When I started to do yoga three years ago, I was really looking for a sport, something to help me get in shape. Back then I tried to get through a “Yoga with Adriene” video on YouTube during one of her 30-day challenges and had to stop half way through after 15 minutes or so, because it was too hard for me to hold a downward dog for that long. I could have quit that challenge back then, but I decided to persevere. I eventually made my way to a yoga studio in Budapest. I was till trying to lose weight back then and I remember logging calories burnt during a yoga class on cronometer and questioning whether I should run instead of doing yoga, as it was clearly burning more calories. There was something about getting onto that mat though, that kept me coming back and somehow I stuck with it. I loved how yoga made me feel, not look. Feel. I came to yoga for the fitness, but what I found was a practice, that gave me so much more. About a year in I stopped thinking about calories and started to get genuinely excited about what my body could do. It wasn’t no longer about the looks, the toning or me dropping that weight; what excited me was my progress. Instead of seeing everything that was wrong with me and my body, I started to be grateful for my health and my ability to practice. For me, this was a huge mental shift. I stopped to look at yoga as a workout. It became a practice for me, a part of my routine.
Can I put my leg behind my head? Maybe. But in the end it doesn’t really matter. The poses are secondary and yet they are the first thing you see, when you watch someone doing yoga, which can make it confusing. Yes. I’ve learned to do a headstand and I am strong enough to support my body weight with my arms now, which is kinda exciting, but what I’ve really learned it gratefulness for my body and health, patience both with myself and others and the discipline to accept discomfort and to persevere. Many, who see me practice probably think I’m not particularly “good at yoga”, because I don’t do crazy advanced poses (aka yoga soft porn), but I’ve learned, that good at yoga isn’t really a thing. As long as your practice brings you joy and value, you’re doing great!
An Ashtanga practice can be exactly what you want it to be. It can be as long or short as you need it to be on a particular day. If my body is stiff and it’s just not happening for me, I have no shame rolling up my mat in the Mysore room and calling it a day after standing poses or even Sun Salutations. I want my practice to be with me for a very long time and I’ve learned to listen to my body, to work with my body and not against it. I don’t push myself, if I’m having a bad day. I thank myself, that I even showed up and tried.
And I think this is the point I’m trying to make here today: It’s enough to show up and try. Don’t let fear keep you from trying something you think you might enjoy. Be it Ashtanga or really anything else in life.
PS: So what about my neighbor you may ask! Well. I think she’s willing to give it a try. She messaged me again yesterday and wants to join me for yoga tomorrow. As you can imagine: I’m pretty excited about that! 🙂